Comparison is the Thief of Joy

I’m so guilty. It’s hard not to be in this day and age of social media.

I’m guilty of plodding along, minding my own business (literally), and BAM! Someone is growing more, bigger, better than I am and I immediately wonder if I should be doing that too. Or worse. I make a shotgun decision and buy something that wasn’t completely thought out and I don’t know if it’s actually a good business decision.

It’s not just my business. It’s everything else too. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone shows their perfect life. But that’s never the full story. It’s not real life.

I show my beautiful flowers mostly and, don’t get me wrong, they are legit! Nothing fake or phony about these flowers. But my life is not a fairytale. I try to throw that reminder out often. I don’t want to present perfection. Even the flowers are not always “perfect”, a bug bite or a blemish is nature and that’s fine.

On the other hand, I know people go to social media to get away from their everyday or to see something happy/pretty/perfect. I try to find that balance in my own social media as well.

Constantly comparing, however, is going to rob you of joy every time.

I’m noticeably happier when I’m minding my own business and staying in my lane. I cannot possibly do all the things, be all the things, grow all the varieties (I try), or be just like anyone else. And why would I want to be?! I am me and you are you and that’s freaking awesome. No one else can be you or me either.

In the flower world, there are so many flowers (duh) and when you’re in the business of growing flowers, you want to grow all of the best ones. Even if everything was unlimited (time, money, help, etc), I probably still could not accomplish that. And here in real world land, I definitely cannot.

Dahlias are a good example. A seemingly low cost plant that can get out of hand quickly. [Can someone say addicting?!] Dahlia tubers average right around $6-7, not bad. When you grow on a large scale that can become a rather large investment but you can also recoup that with the sale of the flowers. There are SO many different dahlias. You can’t possibly grow them all but when you jump on Instagram and see that little peach beauty that is juuuust a smidge paler with a different petal shape than those other peach beauties you already have several hundred of… but, OK one or three little extras won’t hurt…. And then you do that for yellow and purple and wine/burgundy/ox blood….yeah….. You get the point. It not only alters the balance of your sustainable business but it also robs you of the joy you had with the peach beauties you already have and love.

Another one. Ranunculus. Ugh the knife to my gut. These are the worst for me. They’re also another stunning flower that is highly sought after but some of them come with a hefty price tag. Especially when you’re buying in the hundreds or thousands. Similar story for tulips that are pulled out every year in the farming world.

I just made that purchase for 2023 and maybe I overdid it a little. BUT I will tell you my small win. I chose to eliminate one of the MOST popular varieties from my order and sub in a variety that looks pretty close for literally a quarter of the price. And you best believe I was patting myself on the back. Good choice, Emily, good choice. Happy dance.

I then used that money to buy a few thousand perennials but that’s an investment and that’s another story.

I really want to grow with intention. Not because someone else is growing this or that and I feel like I need to as well. It’s a constant struggle for me though if I’m honest. I need to constantly remind myself of this: Comparison is the thief of joy! You do you girl! You will never become happier by comparing yourself, your work, your business, your family, or anything else. Never.

If you compare your dog to Doug though, you’ll be pretty happy I’m sure, he’s a jerk.

KIDDING, you all know I’m obsessed with him and think he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread (but definitely still a jerk).

So my advise to you (and especially to myself) is to relax and keep your focus on what you are doing.

You are you and that’s amazing. Really think that through. No one else can do exactly what you do, exactly how you do it, think just the way you do based on your unique life experiences and nuances. They just can’t. So why lose that superpower of being your uniquely complex self by comparing yourself to someone else?

Let your special light shine and keep your joy. Comparison is a thief.